The collages I’ve been making of late are born out of overwhelm.
Returning to Aotearoa after eight weeks in the UK, I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by physical and emotional jet-lag, numerous projects, and simply returning to my usual life.
To cope I did what I could manage. Rather than set goals (which were part of my problem) I gave myself permission to have no goals. Without goals I could focus on the process, to make without thinking beyond those things in front of me. No thoughts of exhibitions, creating bodies of work, sales, or finding representation. None of that. Simply sit down, cut, arrange, rearrange, and stick. Sit at my desk and do.
The benefit of having no predefined goal (or output) is that by sitting down and cutting some paper I’m successful. If I set the goal of making two A4 collages suitable for framing by the end of the week - until I’ve made those two collages I’m not succeeding. I’ve set up an experience of failure for every day I don’t have those two collages. What a miserable way to live!
With no goals, when I sit down and cut and paste I’m successful. Even if the result is awful. And everyone needs to make some awful work. It’s how we learn and it’s ok. It’s a result, it’s something real to build on. It’s part of the process of making.
Today, I’m feeling much less of the overwhelm. I’m wary of falling into old habits of setting myself goals, of creating plans (occasionally elaborate), of solving problems in a complex way (because “Look at me, aren’t I clever!”), and trying to solve problems I don’t even need to be solving right now. These options are all so tempting and habitual. Yet, taking those paths could very quickly become too much.
So it’s no more goals for me.