Two drawings, three breaths. Or was it two breaths? All too easy to forget after quite an explosive moment.

I’ve been purposely staying away from the studio this week as it’s in the art centre, where my old part-time job was. I’m keen to separate from what was and whatever is coming next.

I’ve been watching the tv show Severance, going for the occasional walk, and reading the Sherlock Holmes Cthulu Casebook Series, written not by Conan Doyle but by James Lovegrove.

Am I rested?
I’m getting there.

Has it been easy?
Hmm, not always. A day of melancholy (or something similar) yesterday as I began to get bored and wonder what to do with myself. And yet, I know this boredom is no bad thing. I can already feel myself wanting to read some non-fiction. I’m doodling here and there. I’m writing singular thoughts and observations. Perhaps something longer may grow from one of these. Conceivably, a doodle or photograph may morph into a painting or three. I’m in no rush – these things can take their time.

It’s day one of my life after leaving my part-time job at Toi Pōneke, and already I’m enjoying the space and time I now have. It’s a mindset as much as anything, and I’m feeling lighter.

I plan to use the next six to eight weeks as a chance to “Cocoon”. I’m splitting the time into four phases:

Rest
Reflect
Explore
Experiment

Resting is self-explanatory – an opportunity to recharge and reconnect. Reflecting will see me look at where I’ve been, where I am, and where I want to be (and what I might want to do). The Exploration phase builds upon the findings of the Reflection phase and sees me explore various possibilities and options. Discoveries and ideas generated from the Exploration phase will be tested in the Experimental phase, where I’ll create experiments to test my ideas against reality.

I realise none of the above mentions art or making explicitly. And that’s ok. I do not doubt that I’ll keep making, and I’m also open to the possibility of taking a pause. Much like my painting process, I’m keen to create the conditions, space, and time to see what emerges.

Bigger paper, larger brush, more paint, unwieldy ideas, spacious feelings. Extra everything. Supersize that.

Is the idea muscular enough to disturb the universe?

Am I bold enough to disturb the universe?